It’s one of those days where there feels like no room to add “walking through a fear” to my To Do List. I have writing to do. Some other shit. And then Bob and I are off to a taping of a friend’s new show, Paul Provenza’s Green Room, late afternoon.
So I ask myself, what is this 100 Fears in 100 Days really about? Is it always about an action? Could it also be about claiming? Shifting? Being with myself in a new way? I will meditate on this today.
Tonight there will be lots of fame and talent and funny in the room and a chance to mix in it. In my past, this was a recipe for feeling invisible. But so much has changed this year around all of this. I have had many opportunities to get comfortable with my own power and place in the world and see behind the curtain I constructed around all of this. I know that the only thing that matters to me is genuine connection to others. The rest is bullshit.
I no longer look at these events as places where I feel I have to prove something to the world about my worth. I only know that I love people – their humanity, their perspectives and their hearts and souls. I also love artists who have a wide audience – I am fascinated how their unique brand resonates for many. And I am especially excited when artists get together to talk amongst themselves about their work, life, the world. So tonight will be fun.
I know tonight will offer me a few opportunities to step over some fears.
A couple of updates:
Will get the MRI later this month.
And I got an email from the literary agent – she has read my essays and liked them a lot, and will read the memoir pages this week!!!
I think I just buried the headline. 🙂